I'll be a lady and you'll be a gentleman...

I keep thinking about this and I've meant to write about it for a while. Right before all of my friends left for Christmas break (or left the island for good-sad!), we loaded up the Red Raider Transformer (again, a lot of thought went into naming that car) and we headed into town. Everyone needed to do some shopping at the Swap Meet for some island souvenirs and Christmas gifts to take home. Anyway, it was a fun day with a different mix of people for which I'm glad because each one of them is a dear friend of mine. I can honestly say that I'll be eternally grateful for each of them.

This post is dedicated to one of my friends in my car that day-I'll call him B. Of all of my friends in the car, he was the one person I had known the least. Yet in the short time I knew him up to that point, he had already made an impression on me that I'm not quite sure how to explain. Just know that I believe that B  always tries to do the right things for the right reasons. Plus he is very skilled and quite the thinker. I'm so impressed with how smart and wise he is. Anyway, he is the reason that a month after it happened I continue to think about what he did and so I know I need to write it down.

We were driving home from town and I stopped at a gas station to...duh...put gas in my car. Before I had even stepped out, B was right there taking the nozzle out and asking me how much to put in. I told him that he didn't have to and that I could take care of the gas. 

This is what he then told me:

"You're a lady. I know you know how to do this but I'm the guy and I should do this for you."

Now before any of you start up with any extreme feminist thoughts and arguments (believe me, I've gone there), I have to say that he said this in the most non-condescending way that I could only smile and say thank you. I surprised myself when I didn't grab the nozzle back and said, "Thanks but I'm a big girl. I can do this myself" (believe me, I've gone there before too). It's just that I was taken off guard by what he said AND the way he said it and I had to remember that indeed, I am a lady! Of course I know how to put gas in the car! I know where the oil and washer fluid go in my car too. I'm pretty tough and I can take the lids off of mayonnaise and pickle jars by myself! My knowledge of the rules of American football and basketball may be small but I can sit down and enjoy a game or two without having anyone explain it to me. And you know what else? Most of these things I just mentioned were taught to me by my own mother! Not that every man in my life was incompetent; on the contrary, there have been some very capable manly men in my life. Anyway, I guess I took two things away from that little experience:

1) Sometimes it's just nice to let someone do something for you, even if you can do it yourself. It doesn't matter if they are a man or a woman. You will give them a chance to serve. And doesn't it just make you feel all warm and tingly inside? (yes, I said that). 

2) I'm not going to be the one to assign gender roles but let's be real: we know they're there. So guys usually work on cars (did I tell you that B is ALL about trucks and cars?) and girls are usually associated with the color pink and play with dolls. Whatever...not EVERY guy is like that and not EVERY girl is like that. Period. But it's more than that acting one way and doing certain things;

 it's BEING who you are and I believe that starts with realizing your

 true worth.

 Also, there are some girls out there that just need to stop complaining about guys-me included! There are some sweet guys out there. I know there are some jerks out there but there are also some punk girls out there too. Anyway, I get really tired of the girls who just shut down the guys who are trying their best. I for one need to be better about this!

So thank you B. Thank you for reminding me that even though I can do things for myself , it's nice once in a while to have someone do those things for you. Thank you for remembering that I am a lady. 

It's nice to be treated like a lady.